My online boutique In My Solitude turned one year old on June 13th! I'm really excited to have birthed such a venture, but like anything worthwhile, it's a labor of love. I think the biggest challenge for me has been trying to stay engaged to the idea that initially inspired me when so many other things in life demand my creative attention.

My vision for In My Solitude is to validate the artistic spirit and hand crafted work of women in my family and around the globe. But there are times, when the only thing I can visualize is a new way to get out of working on my vision.

One night in particular when I should have been sewing, I was flipping channels and eating Pinkberry. I stopped for a moment to watch Dr. Drew Lapinsky talk about addiction. I was hoping to hear some nugget of truth that might help me deal with my procrastination and also kick my Pinkberry habit when he said these fabulous words, "It doesn't matter how many times you fall off the wagon as long as you stay engaged in the process of getting better... as long as you don't quit."

His comment really spoke to me and that night I had a much needed breakthrough AND breakup with Pinkberry! Instead of feeling guilty about becoming distracted from my craft, I could simply decide in that moment to re-engage... so I did! I received further confirmation on the importance of meaningful engagement the next day when I was downtown shopping at the Los Angeles Flower Mart.

I met a woman named Roxanne Kremer who was selling beautiful crystals and fossils. We started talking and I discovered that for 27 years she has been working with indigenous people in the Peruvian Amazon while also trying to save endangered monkeys and pink dolphins. Many documentaries have been produced on her amazing humanitarian and environmental work. Now, that my friends is incredible commitment! I mean who does that?

I felt re-energized after meeting Roxanne because I realized that the key to staying connected with work you love is to continually make sure that the work you're doing is bigger than you. When your enthusiasm starts to wane, it might be time to connect with a higher purpose. Lately, whenever I feel like I'm losing focus, I think about the idea that initially inspired me and then I work on coming up with new ways to take it to the next level! As a result, I'm really looking forward to a new year of In My Solitude and I'm truly grateful for all of the love I've received and lessons I've learned over the past 12 months! And as Maya Angelou declared in the title of one of my favorite inspirational books, "I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now!"

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

Grand Opening!

Birthing a business or any creative endeavor is such an exciting journey, but it's a true balancing act that requires lots of support. So, when you get a moment check out the new websites of several of my good friends. Alisa Payne-Clarke started a new company called GreeTeez. It's a really cute, customizable apparel line for all ages. You can design your own T-shirt and other items by writing or drawing on them with Sharpie brand markers. Alisa is a talented television producer who recently appeared on The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch promoting GreeTeez!

Wardrobe stylist and costume designer Sharon Pendana created a fab new website and a cool culture and style blog that you must check out! Sharon is an expert in her field and works with the best names in the business of art and fashion.

The incomparable journalist Ed Gordon launched an inspiring new website called Daddy's Promise. It's a site dedicated to celebrating and supporting the relationships of fathers and their daughters. I worked with Ed for several years and witnessed firsthand the incredible bond he has with his daughter, Taylor. Ed's website holds a special place in my heart because I cherish my dad and his presence makes a huge difference in my life. Congratulations Ed, Alisa and Sharon!

Cool Crafters

If you live in L.A., you probably know about the flea market at Fairfax and Melrose. I like to stop by there every other month or so to see what new artists are there selling their one-of a-kind wares. This weekend I came across two booths I liked. If you're into leather, look for an accessories line called Mutante. The designer's name is Juan C. He makes cool bracelets out of a variety of skins and stones. My beautiful burgandy and pearl colored bracelet is made out of the skin of a stingray. I can't tell you exactly where to find him every week, but just walk around the flea market it's not that big. You can also reach Juan C. by email at mutys@msn.com

I also found a cute eco-friendly clutch made out of recycled newspaper at the flea market. The line is called The News Los Angeles. The creator, Dahli Coles made a tote bag for a class while attending Cal State and got such a great response that she kept making them. A really nice guy named Dameon sold me this piece. The next time I visit their booth, I'm really hoping to find a recycled bag made out of Obama news headlines. Now, how hot and historical would that be? To check out the line go to www.thenewsla.com

Easy Summer Ceviche

By Derek

I made this recipe this weekend - It's really good and inexpensive - serve on tostadas or tortilla chips

INGREDIENTS
* 1 (8 ounce) package imitation crabmeat, flaked
* 2 large tomatoes, chopped
* 1 red onion, finely chopped
* 1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped
* 2 limes, juiced
* 3 serrano peppers, finely chopped
* 1 tablespoon olive oil
* salt and pepper to taste
DIRECTIONS
1. Place the shredded imitation crab into a glass or porcelain bowl. Plastic or metal are not recommended. Stir olive oil into the crabmeat until well coated, then stir in the cilantro, onion, tomato and serrano peppers. Squeeze the lime juice over everything, and mix well. Season with plenty of salt and pepper. Refrigerate for about 1 hour before serving.

Leggo My Ego!

So, I finally finished reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The book has been everywhere for months and it seems like everyone is reading it, but finishing it is another story. I was completely immersed in his first book The Power of Now. But at times, reading A New Earth was like drinking wheat grass juice. You know it's good for you, but it's pretty hard to swallow. Nevertheless, I muddled through the book. I picked it up... I put it down... skipped ahead... and sometimes just straight up fell asleep! In the end, I definitely learned a lot about my mind and it's attachment to the ego, especially after I stopped reading the book with other people's flaws and dysfunction in mind. For the first 30 pages, I was thinking stuff like, "That sounds just like so and so. He/she needs to read this." Like it couldn't possibly be my issue, too!

I think the book was instrumental in helping me let go of some old baggage for good. When I was growing up, I was involved in a lot of playground disputes and while those days are long gone, when I feel threatened, my ego will definitely rise to the occasion. It was great to be able to see how to redirect the energy of an old survival skill into a more positive direction. Anyway, what did you get out of A New Earth? Did you finish the book or are you still flipping through it? Better yet, what are you reading now? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

The In My Solitude Boutique Blog is updated on the 1st and 15th of every month... well most of the time :-) Sometimes work kicks my butt!

--Barack Obama, Democratic presidential nominee

May 28, 2008

I love the circus and my secret fantasy is to be a performer in Cirque du Soleil. The desire to be an acrobat isn't new, it's more like a dream deferred. I took gymnastic classes as a kid, but a four inch growth spurt and a scary slip off the balance beam put a serious halt to my tumbling.

I developed a mini fear of falling after gymnastics. Recently, I decided to get to the bottom of this so called phobia by rekindling my old passion. How? I enrolled in a Tissu class at Circus School!
Yes, you read it right. Circus School! While it may be too late for my big top debut, I'll never be too old to learn something new and put the past in perspective.

It all began when I saw a picture of my co-worker in Tissu class at Hollywood Aerial Arts. Tissu is an incredible circus art where the acrobat climbs silk fabric suspended usually 20-35 feet in the air and performs without safety lines. The photo struck a chord so deep that I had to dig out my tights for old times sake. During the days before the class, I imagined myself at the top of the Tissu in a beautiful, gravity defying pose. I also saw myself in elementary school, struggling to lift my body weight during rope climbing. I was surprised by the win or lose scenarios in my visualizations. Where was the balance in my view of what I could accomplish at Circus school?

I showed up for my first two hour class with a willing spirit and a beginner's mind. The true gymnasts showed up in cute little outfits with flesh toned leggings. I knew I was in big trouble when EVERYONE could do a real split during the warm up. And not the kind where you put your bent leg off to the side and then touch your toes, I'm talking about split, splits!

After the warm up and signing a waiver that basically said if I died trying Tissu it wasn't the facility's fault; we were split up in groups based on ability. Learning how to climb the Tissu was not easy, most of the time my butt was either sticking up in the air or sprawled on the ground.
As I watched my advanced classmates scurry up the Tissu, I finally understood why I quit gymnastics. It wasn't just because I was too tall or afraid of falling. I was afraid of failing. As a teen, I didn't allow myself to enjoy the sport because I felt too much pressure to be the best in the room.

While waiting for my turn on the Tissu, I thought about how hard it is, even as an adult, to watch others succeed at something that doesn't come easy to you. But, the truth is that's life! So, to truly enjoy circus school, I had to start at a place that was right for me and not compare myself to anyone else. My goal in Tissu class was not to fly through the air with the greatest of ease, but to simply get my entire body off the ground. I slipped off the silk rope over and over for two hours, until I was finally airborne.

I re-learned an important lesson at Circus school. Failing is a necessary part of growth and to reach the top, you're going to fall a lot. But, you have to get right back up and try again... until you literally get the hang of it.

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

I celebrated Christmas in April with my friend Essie this weekend. We've been trying to exchange stockings since the new year. Finally, we got together and after gazing at the ocean from her beautiful apartment, talking, and sipping a little wine, we opened our gifts.

Essie gave me the most thought provoking book called, What I Know Now: Letters To My Younger Self. Each essay is filled with amazing advice written by famous, accomplished women from all walks of life. I loved the book so much that I read it the same night (it's only 183 pages). The letters are to every woman's younger self at a pivotal moment in her journey. They really reveal how we all struggle with the same issues regardless of our social or economic status.

After finishing the book, I was inspired to write a letter to my younger self. The hardest part of the process was deciding at what point I wanted to drop a little knowledge on mini-me. I decided that I could have really used some solid advice at 17. I was on my own, working and putting myself through college. After writing the letter, I realized that what I needed to hear then, I still need to hear now. Some lessons we just keep learning! You should write a letter to your younger self, it's such a great exercise! I'll go first... here's my letter inspired by Christmas in April with Essie!

Dear Ev-E!

When you get your first "real job" as a bank teller, please don't wear your favorite purple, floppy, fedora or anything else from your hat collection to work. Neither you or your boss will understand yet that your artistic spirit is trying to emerge. Instead of fighting the corporate machine, spend your time trying to find work that is more creative and better suits your personality. And darling, when you're feeling like Diana Ross in Mahogany being booed off the runway for wearing her own designs, try not to take life too seriously! Instead, make time to laugh really, really hard at least twice a day. Let at least one of the things you laugh at be the vision of you working at the teller window in a floppy, purple hat!

Also, it seems you are attracted to guys who are what you call "smart bohemians." That's just fine, but I need to make sure you understand the difference between bohemian and broke down. Remember the cute, intellectual guy who's car was so rusted on the passenger side that you could see the street through a hole in the floor? Baby, that's broke down! If you ever have a moment of weakness, listen to the timeless wisdom found in No Scrubs the girl power anthem of the legendary R&B group, TLC. And by the way, the thing you kinda didn't like about him when you first met.... only gets worse over time!

Yes, your 17 and I know you think you already know this, but never pick a partner based on his potential... make sure he has everything that is important to you in the present moment. And you're right, money isn't everything, but you better make sure you always have some of your own.

This is really important! Trust your intuition and opinion before anyone else's... but don't be afraid to ask for help or advice because one day your mom won't be around. For a while, it's going to be hard to accept that your mother left the planet way too soon, but know that she gave you the greatest gift a mother can give her daughter... self esteem. All the Gucci in the world will never be more valuable than having a good opinion of your self.

Finally, sometimes you will have to tell people you like and dislike to kiss your ass! Not everyone is going to approve of you and how you live your life. A thick skin and a strong, but forgiving spirit will allow you to transcend any circumstance. Sometimes, it may seem hard to see the big picture, but trust me when I say, you are going to become the woman of your dreams and you will be wearing many, many, many hats!

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn
(Your Older, Wiser Self)

I know Valentine's day was like.... a month and a half ago, but for some reason I didn't feel like writing about love until now. I think it's because two of my closest friends have recently experienced a great loss in their lives.

An ending of any kind is always a wake up call, isn't it? And we all know that the hardest part of losing someone is letting go of "what was" because you know in your heart that it will never "be" again. Fortunately, it's also a moment to reflect on the love you have left in your life and hopefully make a greater commitment to the people around you!

For a couple of years now, I've been living with the possibility of losing my father-- so I always get a little shaken up when I hear that someone has died. But, I'm learning everyday to be more "present" with those I care about and never take for granted the richness we bring to each other's lives.

The most incredible thing about my newfound desire to be emotionally available is that it's affecting my life choices in ways I didn't expect. I no longer feel the need to escape uncomfortable situations because I spend less time creating them. I'm quicker to say no to anything that doesn't feel right for me and if someone gets upset... oh well! As a result, I'm spending more of my quality time doing things I love because I'm weeding out pretty much everything and anything that steals my joy.

My deepest choices now feel like acts of love instead of potential decisions that I might live to regret. I'm also discovering that the more present I am with my choice to love someone, the easier it is to let them go when the time arrives.

I think my friend Nichole, who just lost her amazing grandmother, definitely has the right idea about loving and letting go! She's planning a beautiful celebration of her Nana's life instead of a day of mourning. I think that's such a fabulous plan because life really isn't about how long you were in the room... it's how you worked the room while you were there... and a true diva knows that if you really want to be remembered... you must always take the time to plan the perfect exit!

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

Recipes Should Be Like Lovers....Cheap & Easy!
By Derek

In today’s urban society, it’s almost as expensive to prepare dinner at home as it is to nosh at your
favorite neighborhood bistro. So, what does a girl do when she’s blown her rent on a pair of Louboutin’s and it’s her turn to host her friends for dinner? Well if you’re in her shoes, you can impress them with an extremely affordable dinner of “Pasta Al Tonno” (Tuna Pasta) and your not so affordable sling backs! In fact, if you bargain hunt, you should be able to make this gourmet Italian dish for well under $5.

Pasta Al Tonno (Serves 4)

A 7 oz can of tuna fish drained
A 2 oz can of anchovies
1 cup of olive oil (Use Whole Foods 365 brand Spanish
Olive oil if you’re extremely tight on money)
2/3 cup of sour cream
1 pound of your favorite pasta prepared
Chopped Parsley (Optional)

In a blender or food processor, blend the tuna, anchovies and oil together. Then, add the sour cream
with the optional parsley and blend for an additional few seconds. Take the creamy fish mixture and toss it with your favorite pasta. It’s as easy as that! Some people, with really deep pockets, garnish this dish with pitted black olives! They probably buy their shoes at Payless, too.

So Fresh So Clean
By Evolyn

I love to use natural products to make beauty treatments and my favorite is a honey and clay mask. I mix a tablespoon of each together and smooth it on my face for 1/2 an hour. My skin is really soft when I rinse off the mask because the clay has a nice exfoliating quality.

There's only one product that I haven't attempted to make at home and that's soap. Luckily, there's no reason for me to play chemist when I can just hop in the car and drive to Soaptopia.

The homemade soap at this amazing little store on Venice Blvd. in Mar Vista, Ca., has been one of my best kept secrets. Now, they're products are all the rage and if you try their soap you'll see why. They're made with an olive oil base, Shea butter from Senegal, organic Hemp Seed oil, Coconut Oil, Palm Oil, Avocado Oil and Essential Oils. They have 39 different soaps and lots of other great body products. I love the 50/50 body balm.

It's so fluffy and decadent that I feel all "bad girl" when I'm putting it on my body. I think it's the Madagascar Vanilla that has me imagining that I'm getting ready for a hot and sexy night out, even if I never leave my home.

Cooking Italian? Try Shopping At An Asian Market!
By Derek

Tip #1

One of my favorite Italian dishes is pesto but I always found the cost of basil to be a bit too high
for my taste. Well, the trick to getting basil for less is to go to a Thai Market. Since basil is a staple in the Thai diet, most markets sell sweet fresh basil in bulk for just a little over 2 dollars a bag! Now you can have basil whenever you want!

Tip#2

When making homemade ravioli, use wonton skins! All you have to do is take two wonton skins, fill them with your favorite ingredients and paint them shut with egg yolk. Then just boil for a few minutes and you’ll have ravioli to die for! (I love to make ravioli with fresh ricotta cheese and mint leaves and then serve them in a butter and lemon sauce. It’s perfect for the summer!)

More Energy In Less Time
By Kimberly

For those of you who are dashing out the door without a second to spare, I recommend Sambazon Acai energy drinks. Acai is this fantastic little berry that is one of the most nutritious and powerful foods in the world! It's a remarkable concentration of antioxidants that help combat premature aging, with 10 times more antioxidants than red grapes and 10 to 30 times the anthocyanins of red wine.

Sambazon carries three flavors and my favorite is the Acai Rio Energy. Other Sambazon products include sorbets, supplements and great frozen packs for those who want to make their own smoothie. They also offer some great recipes on their website such as the Acai Margarita for those who want a little more than a natural high!

The In My Solitude Boutique Blog is updated on the 1st and 15th of every month... well most of the time :-) Sometimes work kicks my butt! I'd love to read your thoughts so feel free to share them below in the comment section.

My life has been a whirlwind over the past few weeks. I'm working on a TV project that I love, but as always, when I start something new it brings up an old issue. For me, a new job brings up my "stuff" about competition. How much is too much? Will people hate me if I act too driven? Am I better or smarter than the people around me? Are they better, or smarter than me? Am I trying too hard to win? How can I perform well without others seeing me as a threat?

Sometimes, when I feel like it's all too much, I look at a quote above my desk at home that says, "Persevere Without Attachment Until You Reach Your Goal." It's based on the Buddhist philosophy of non-attachment to the machinations of the outside world. This idea was working for me until I watched the results of my favorite reality show called, "The Democratic Primary" on Tuesday, March 5th.

Something clicked for me as I watched Hillary and Obama speak throughout the night. They are great competitors and through them I am learning how to become a great competitor, too!

Their pursuit of the nomination is truly the most exciting battle of will, wit and perseverance I have ever seen outside of a TV production studio. Each of them is willing to put their heart and soul in the game to win. Obama cooly stays the course while Hillary struggles to bounce back and overcome her rival.

By watching them compete, I see how important it is to have a strong strategy and a team that supports your efforts. When you stray off course, it's critical to listen to your advisors and make changes immediately based on their feedback. If your popularity is falling or your plan isn't working, don't blame or attack the other person because it makes you look mean spirited. And God help you if you don't know what everyday people are thinking about you because it can make or break you. Oh and if you take a hit in the solar plexus, shake it off and keep it movin'. Everybody gets knocked down, but a winner gets right back in the game with their sense of humor in tact. Finally, be thankful for a worthy opponent that forces you to step up your game because in the end you're that much closer to reaching your goal.

No matter how this race turns out, I think it's been good for our country and it's taught me at least to appreciate the intense level of struggle sometimes required to realize a dream. We all get tired of fighting, but challenges are truly necessary to grow. When we don't have a goal or a strategy, it seems like it's all for nothing and we lose hope.

Since the March 5th primaries, my quote is still over my desk, but it's been tweaked a little bit. Now it says, "Persevere with attachment until you reach your goal... or your opponent gives up!"

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

It's Time For A Love Revolution

I was watching Mary J. Blige perform on MTV's Storyteller's last week and I was moved by how powerfully she performed the song, No More Drama. I mean, I really believed that she's finally had enough and is experiencing joy in her life at last.

I met Mary J. Blige for the first time about eight years ago when I produced a full hour with her at The Queen Latifah Show. At that time, she was still the "Old Mary" and as I briefed her in the green room, she was looking at me like she wanted to throw down after school in the playground. Clearly, I'm no "Jenny From The Block" so I told her what was happening in the show and got the hell out of there.

I've always loved Mary's music, but now she's become a friend in my head. I respect her for having the courage to change her life and also share the journey. Her latest song, Just Fine is the most fun, upbeat song Mary J. Blige has ever recorded. I love the lyrics, "No time for moping around, are you kidding? And no time for negative vibes, cause I'm winning." They lift me up and remind me to never take my life for granted.

Lenny Kravitz's new CD, It's Time For A Love Revolution, is encouraging us to believe in lasting love! Working in television has afforded me so many opportunities, and meeting Lenny Kravitz was one of them. The look on my face in this picture is just peace and purple haze, isn't it? I still can't get over the fact that we were kinda dressed alike that day.... Anyway, I'm so glad he's back and I love his new song,I'll Be Waiting. Really Lenny? Really?

Crack In A Bottle
By Ev

I've been "crackish" about a lot of things in my life, but a bottle of liquid vitamins has never been one of them. But here I am, "feening" for Nature's Plus liquid vitamins on a daily basis. While there's nothing on the label that would lead me to suspect that I'm ingesting a new form of crystal meth or an unwitting participant in a government sanctioned pharmaceutical experiment, I'm just not sure.

I feel too good to have not taken something that's illegal. I know there's some Ephedrine in there somewhere! I got turned on to this so-called liquid vitamin by my friend, Nichole. I blame her for bringing the stuff into my house. "Trust me. You have to try it," she said. "It's incredible. You can take it on an empty stomach and it doesn't even taste that bad."

Uh Huh! I should have snatched it out of her hand and poured it right down the drain like a bottle of cheap vodka, but nooooo! I swallow a capful and in an hour I'm feeling all Neo from the Matrix. My mind feels a little sharper and all that B12 has me bouncing off the walls... not bad for roughly $30 for a 30oz. bottle, right? Still, when the stuff is banned from the market and you've got six crates of it stashed in your basement ... don't blame me when the cops are knocking at your door... I told you it was "crack" from the get go!

The In My Solitude Boutique Blog is updated on the 1st and 15th of every month. We love to read your thoughts so feel free to share them below in the comment section.

Let's Try Something New!

The Barack Obama campaign is infectious isn't it? His ability to galvanize Americans from all walks of life is simply incredible! When it's time to cast my vote in this historic election, I will walk arm in arm with my father to the polls. I know, it sounds so Ms. Jane Pittman, but I've got to do it because my dad like many people of his generation, never thought an African-American could be elected president in his lifetime.

But, Obama is more than just a black candidate, we finally have a leader who is tapping into a core desire that we all seem to have at this moment in our lives. A deep need for change! Not just in our country, but also within us. The metaphysicists say everyone and everything in our lives is a reflection of who we are and what we've chosen. If that's truly the case, it's not hard to see that it's time to raise the bar...but how?

Well, Eleanor Roosevelt said you should do one thing in your life everyday that scares you. I remember living that way somewhat unknowingly back in the day when I was a reporter. My heart was always pounding with excitement because I had to be "present" with people to get the news and connected to my own voice in order to write a compelling story. When you were "live" on the air it felt like anything could happen in that moment.. as long as it didn't involve the movement of my little bob. And can you believe that necklace? I look like I could play a young Condoleezza Rice in a made for TV movie!

Anyway, I've gotten the same feeling of engagement that I experienced during my reporter years following the Obama campaign on TV. For a long time, I thought it was the rush of working in broadcast news that I missed. But now, after starting In My Solitude and this blog, I know differently. What I longed for was the opportunity to express my voice and creativity in a way that is authentic to who I am now. And we all know authentic work is hard to come by, that's why Barack Obama's choice to run for president is resonating with so many people. He's living his truth and encouraging us to do the same and thereby play our position in the electoral process. By following his dream all the way to the white house, Barack Obama is living an authentic life. I'm sure making the decision to declare himself as a presidential candidate wasn't easy, but he did it any way.

I've learned that I can never get what I want if I'm not willing to live through the fear of not obtaining it. So, I ask you, what first step do you need to take in your life today? It's definitely scary and exhausting to think about every action required to make your dreams come true. But, I think Barack Obama sums it up best in his campaign speeches when he declares, "We are the change we've been seeking."

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

A Lash That Lasts!
By Ev & Nichole

It's award show time in Los Angeles and I love to see everyone so "glammed" up! This year, I attended the NAACP Image Awards with my friend Nichole. Her show, Our World With Black Enterprise was nominated. It's my third time going and while I always have a lot of fun, my best memories so far are from 2004. That's when I actually won an Image Award and later that night I was laughing so hard with Nichole that my fake lash fell into my champagne glass.

This year, I vowed that there would be no makeup malfunctions on my watch. So, we called our friend Nicholas to stop by the villa to toast Nichole and glam us up for the show. Nicholas Whitehead is a fabulous makeup artist who has worked with many celebs and on fashion shoots with David LaChapelle, Interview and W magazine. He also made the fierce hat he's wearing in the photo, but we'll get to his menswear line down the road. All I can say is that his technique for applying false eyelashes is the "truth" because ours stayed on all night.

Ev: Why do you think my eyelash fell off at the Image Awards?

Nicholas: It was probably too big for your eye and wasn't glued on right. The lash should come close to your inner eye, but not extend further than your natural lash. Most of the time lashes come off from the inside.

Nichole: Why is the glue so hard to work with? It always ends up on my fingers and the fake lash.

Nicholas: When you apply the glue it should be tacky, not watery. Squeeze a little bit out of the tube onto a solid surface. Use a small makeup brush to apply a drop of glue to the inner, outer and middle of lash and then blend.

Ev: Okay, you're getting fancy with the brush. What's the best way to put the lash on?

Nicholas: First of all, not while drinking two glasses of red wine. No wonder your eyelash fell off! You probably forgot the glue. Anyway, you have to apply the fake lash in the corner where your natural lash starts then stick it to your outer eyelid and finally smooth out the middle. If you have to clip them trim the lash from the inner corner a little at a time.

Nichole: Wow! Who knew?

Ev: Thank you Nicholas for making us look fabulous and good luck Nichole!

30 Day Pass:Bag It Or Buy It?
By Derek

As you may recall, 30 days ago I did the unthinkable. I parted with twenty hard earn dollars sot that I could test whether the much Oooh-ed and Ah-ed Oligo 25 Yeux Eye Cooling Stick would eliminate my distracting eye bags. Well it’s Day 31 and my verdict is in! Drum roll please! The Oligo Eye Cooling Stick has left me with Chinese Eyes! Hey wait a second… I’m Chinese, so I’ve always had Chinese eyes! While the Oligo Eye Cooling Stick has softened the skin beneath my eyes and has lightened some of the darkness, it did not eliminate my bags. Sorry folks. If you are looking to lighten the skin beneath your eyes, this product is for you, otherwise, I would pass! I may be twenty dollars poorer but at least I don’t look like Jocelyn Wildenstein.

New At In My Solitude: I've Been Framed
By Evolyn

I love the way a picture can capture a moment, but it takes a great frame to create the perfect mood. Right before this shot was taken I was listening to Kanye West's latest CD. One of my favorite lines from the song Stronger is "Work It, Make It, Do it." So apropos, right? When I saw the picture I realized that I had no frame to reflect my "harder, better, faster" state of mind... so I bought an unfinished wood frame, got out my paint, some nails and washers from the tool chest and made one.

An Amazing Feet
By Evolyn

I love the California sunshine, but living in a warm climate does have its drawbacks. You must keep your pedicure up to par all year round and always carry a little Jane Carter Solution in your purse just to be safe. Why? Because when you least expect it you might find yourself in the home of someone who requires you to remove your shoes. I learned this the hard way when I accompanied a friend to a party a couple of years ago. I nearly had a panic attack when I saw the pile of shoes outside the door. I knew when I left home that I had a hole in my sock and a did-it-myself pedicure, but I threw caution to the wind because it was January.

Fortunately, I remembered the old "pull your sock off with your shoe" trick so no one ever peeped the hole. But, there was nothing I could do about the smushed polish on my big toe. Besides, I had bigger concerns... were my heels going to be so white that I could pass for Ashy Larry's sister from the Chappelle show? Would my skin be so dry that I could scratch the word "gotcha" on the side of my foot? Thankfully, I used my Jane Carter Solution that morning and my heels were hella smooth. The Nourish & Shine creme includes Shea butter, Kokum butter, Illippe butter, Mango butter, Vitamins A, D, & E, pear and grapefruit essential oils. It's a great product for your hair, but I use it everywhere... so I'm never caught out there!

How To Fool Your Bible Study Class
By Derek

There’s no denying that the bible has outsold The Secret, Jackie Collins, Harry Potter and that trashy new Tom Cruise tell-all that I’m dying to get… But how many people can actually claim that they’ve read the "Good Book" from cover to cover? To be completely honest with you, I can’t read through two paragraphs before my mind starts to go over what I need to get at Target. (FYI: Toilet paper, Market Place Pretzels and Lean Pockets) That’s why I was so elated when I stumbled across The 100-Minute Bible abridged by Michael Hinton. It’s literally Cliff Notes on the bible for $7.95! Now anyone who is able to comprehend Perez Hilton can get her wings or at least do a little better when watching Jeopardy.

Anything Is Possible!

It's just no longer attractive to watch The Secret as much as I did last year. I played the dvd so much that I knew what each expert was going to say without looking at the TV. Cue dramatic music..."The principle can be summed up in three simple words. Thoughts become things." Sometimes, when I needed to "attract" a better mood, I'd put on The Secret only to fast forward over the parts that irritated me. Other days, I'd childishly mimic the author's Australian accent and mock the opening line that says "A year ago, my life collapsed around me..."

But the truth is a year ago, my life did actually collapse around me and some of the principles in The Secret were really helpful as I tried to put it back together. My father has been suffering from prostrate cancer for about 8 years. Our darkest hour came in "07" when his disease metastized and his PSA reached 2000. He's 6'2" and dropped down to a scary 114 pounds. I was so stressed that I lost 25 pounds. Now I must admit, I thought I looked fabulous in my size 27 jeans until I saw a picture of myself that reminded me of a 5'10" hors d'oeuvre. Seriously, my head looked like a giant Teriyaki meatball and my body was the toothpick.

My dad isn't a big fan of western medicine, so basically my entire clan had to muscle him into getting hormone treatments. Miraculously, his PSA dropped from 2000 to 600 to 66 just one week ago and it's still going down. His doctors say the cancer is practically in remission and he's expected to live at least another two years. Isn't that just amazing? Throughout the year, I used the principles of the secret, albeit obsessively, as a tool to visualize my father's healing and express gratitude for every moment we had together. I also wrote down my wish for him and placed it in my Possibility Pillow.

Now, you would have to hold my dad hostage to make him actually watch the secret, but I believe he wanted his health to improve and by agreeing to undergo treatment it became his reality. What I experienced over the past year changed my life. Today, when I think about what's possible for each and every one of us, I know that we must hold fast to our heart's desire if our dreams are to truly manifest. Because it's no secret that "Whatever we think about and thank about we bring about."

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

Are You In A Textual Relationship?

I love technology as much as the next person, but texting has just gotten out of hand. I know my own addiction to texting needs to be policed before I'm literally pulled over by the "PoPo." Thank God I have bad hand eye coordination because if I didn't, I have no doubt that I would be on the road risking my life to text the word, "OK" or "TTYL." I know I'm not alone because I got a lot of happy holiday wishes by text. While I appreciated the messages, I definitely missed the spirit of the season that comes with opening an unexpected card.

So, for Valentine's day I plan to do things differently and here's your chance to redeem yourself, too. Angela at Mielle Designs makes beautiful, handcrafted cards for all occasions and has created one that's perfect for Valentine's Day.

Angela is a mother of three who left corporate America and became a self-taught graphic designer. I met Angela before Thanksgiving at my cousin Yvette's incredible bake sale.

We bonded over her delicious desserts, especially the red velvet cupcakes. Yvette can make anything imaginable from pecan pie to flan, which incidentally was written up by The New York Times. She has a catering company called Root To The Fruit with her husband, Russell. Their food gets rave reviews, not unlike those Yvette received while acting with Al Pacino and other luminaries. Oh, I'm sorry... did I forget to tell you that she's a superb and highly trained actress? I digress. You'll be hearing more about the couple's sexy, food soirees in the future, but right now... Valentine's Day is upon us. So, why not order your sweet a homemade treat that's almost as yummy as well... you!

You can reach Yvette & Russell at Root To The Fruit or 818-241-5962

Dirty, Sexy, Store Brand Pancakes?
By Derek

Prada! Gucci! YSL! Ralphs grocery store? Sure designer brands are important when it comes to clothes, I mean just ask the Real Housewives of Orange County, but when it comes to food it means squat! Back in the day there was a real stigma when someone purchased a store brand food item. It was dirty and shameful like buying a dented can of tuna from the sale bin, but times have definitely changed! One of my favorite books, “Treasure Hunt: Inside the Mind of the New Consumer” talks about how more and more people are buying store brand items in order to have extra money to buy luxury goods. Sound familiar?

We all have a store brand product that we’ve come to love so why don’t you share yours with us in the comment section. One of my all time favorite products is Ralph’s Buttermilk Pancake and Waffle mix. It’s so good that even Aunt Jemima is scooping it up on the down low.

Guilt Free Chocolate
By Evolyn & Kim Mayhorn

I caught up with Kim Mayhorn by phone on her way to Atlanta to speak with the young women of Spelman College. As usual, she had a few new millennium munchies in her purse. You might think I'm kidding, but it's not unusual for security to scrutinize her snacks before she's allowed to enter the gate. If you recall, Kim is an artist, editor and vegetarian who’s diet is about 75% raw.

What did you eat on the plane?

A food bar. My favorite to date is the Spirulina & Cashew by Raw Revolution. It has no artificial ingredients or preservatives, and it’s gluten and dairy free. It's filled with cashews, dates, almonds, amaranth, spirulina, and sprouted flax. If you’re sensitive to nuts there are eight other flavors. The bars were created by a raw foods chef.

What is spirulina?

Spirulina is a superfood with many great health benefits. I also love the food bar because it only has 285 calories.

So, I guess I never have to worry about sharing my good chocolate with you?

Um no. I'm such a nutrition label junky. I never buy anything that has fructose corn syrup or trans-fats. However, I do eat Raw Revolution's chocolate bars. They make them with raisins, hazelnuts, and coconut.

That's great! But, let me just say for the record that if anyone buys me a Raw Revolution chocolate bar for Valentine's day there will be hell to pay! Are they sweet?

I think so. They use agave nectar, my favorite natural sweetener.

Where can I get a Raw Revolution Food Bar?

They can be found in most Whole Foods and healthy grocery stores. You can also order a pack of 24 on Amazon.com and save $12.

New At In My Solitude: Shoe Me Your Love
By Evolyn

I love to travel, but sometimes airports make me crazy. However, nothing makes me feel more pampered and pulled together than getting to my hotel, having a glass of wine and opening a well-organized suitcase. (Now, that’s assuming the airline can find my luggage.) My Seredipity shoe bags are key to staying calm on the road. They’re beautiful and festive and I use them to hold my shoes, delicate handbags, or even lingerie.

With a Serendipity shoe bag, you're guaranteed to have a colorful experience on your next trip abroad or to your closet. Each shoe bag is made of silk dupioni with a complementary cotton lining and drawstring. They can also be used to protect your favorite clutch or evening bag from unnecessary wear and tear. Each bag measures 15” H x 11” W and fit all women’s shoe sizes.

The Devil Wears Prada.. But Definitely Pays Less
By Derek

I’ve been posting dirt on myself like K-Fed selling out Britney, but I will NEVER admit to purchasing a counterfeit Damier canvas billfold wallet in a secret room behind a tee-shirt shop next to a chicken market on Canal Street in New York. (Talk about a run-on sentence!)

Oh and by the way, they have a carbon copy of that Botkier “Sasha” duffle that you’ve been wanting! Shhh!) We all know that buying counterfeits is wrong and that’s probably why I’m so obsessed with reading about them. You have to check out www.counterfeitchic.com for all of the latest news on lawsuits and arrests regarding knock-offs! If keeping up on the real deal is more your speed, then check out www.pursepage.com. This blogger is a girl after our own heart! She stays abreast of all of the “It Bags” so you can be of the moment without being maxed out.

Where's The Sweet Spot In Your City Or Online?

Aaeshah Robinson of Cleveland, Ohio says she got a great price on a refurbished camera at a website called Geeks.com She paid $59.99 plus $1.99 shipping for a digital samsung digimax U0CA505 with 5 megapixels and 5x zoom. The retail price of the camera was $199. Now that's a deal girls! If you have a favorite spot to shop...throw us a bone! I’m not asking for all of your goodies… just a little something for us to nibble on.

Ev

The In My Solitude Boutique Blog is updated on the 1st and 15th of every month. We love to read your thoughts so feel free to share them below in the comment section.

Welcome to the first edition of my blog. Yes, I know the company is called, In My Solitude, but sometimes a girl has to break the silence and talk about her journey. So here we go...

When I started the boutique online six months ago, my goal was to make beautiful, handrafted, eco-friendly things and share them with people who might appreciate my work.

But in order to grow my business, I had to cut back on a lot of wonderfully expensive habits that I could no longer afford. At first it took a while for my inner "Kimora Lee Simmons" to get the message that the spending spree was over. But eventually, "KLS" sashayed away out of pure boredom with her collection of Louis Vuitton luggage in tow.

Who knew that selling my quilts and pillows, online and now in several stores, would open the door to a much larger conversation about what is a "good life" and was I truly living it?

One of my biggest lessons in "07" was seriously learning how to love the life I could afford to live right now... so I can have the future I want!

There are so many ways to live a luxurious life for less. I've produced many shows on the topic of "simplifying your life" over the years, so I know all of the tricks. But, "2007" was the kind of year that had you digging for change at the bottom of your handbag to pay for a cup of organic coffee and coming up with lint. I don't mean to be so "Sex In The City" about it, but I have to ask the question, "Where's the beauty in being well heeled if you can't afford your shoes?"

I discovered that many of my friends were in the same boat and we were constantly sharing information about how to cut corners and still be fabulous. This bi-weekly blog was inspired by those talks and our sincere desire to live well, but not at the cost of our well being. So, if you too are wearing sunglasses from the season before last (just kidding... never that!), my hope is that you find useful and unique ideas here on how to make your home and life more gorgeous, cozy, cool, organized, joyful and most of all affordable.

I'm really excited about some of our recurring features. If you're like me, it's impossible to walk through a store without saying, "I can make that!" Well, this year I'm going to make things I never thought I could make and show you how to do it, too! And if we can't make it, Derek will tell us where to find it at a really amazing price.

Who is Derek you say? We all have a best friend in our life that is fabulous and "fiercely" frugal. Well, Derek Che is my best-kept secret and now I'm sharing him with you. Whether we're in Chinatown, Crenshaw Mall, or the Coach store, he knows where to find THE low cost luxury or high-end bargain of the moment. Derek is a notoriously, tight-fisted fashionista and an Emmy award-winning TV producer. He will be a regular contributor to this blog, so start thinking right now about how to invest all of the money he's going to save you this year.

I know, living with limits is not especially glamorous especially if you're not working toward a goal. But now that the new year is upon us, decide what you want to accomplish over the next 12 months and go for it! And while you're busy creating and visualizing a better tomorrow, try to remember that a "good life" is the life you can afford with ease... today!

Most of us were on a quest for clarity in our lives long before Elizabeth Gilbert ate her way through an entire city in Eat, Pray, Love. Still, like everyone else, I devoured the book like it was free sushi from Katsu-ya. After watching the author on Oprah, I was struck by how hungry we all were for a story that spoke to our spiritual lives as women.

That's got to change! Each of us has an inspirational story to tell, but in the midst of living we often forget to journal and write down the most important details of our memoir; the chapter about how we transcended challenging circumstances and filled up our own cup.

I usually don’t write enough in my journal when things are going well. Sometimes, I’ll write a concise passage about my latest epiphany and then at other points, I’ll just scribble sweet comments in large, loopy cursive letters like “life is beautiful today!” Life is beautiful? What? How is that possible when in the previous day’s entry I wrote that I could “barely drag myself out of bed?”

Somehow my life went from famine to feast overnight and I didn’t leave a clue on that page about how I flipped the switch on my emotional state. I’m sure I said a prayer, forced myself to meditate and then came out of it with some pearl of wisdom, but who knows what it was because I didn’t write it down. Only the sob story seemed to be worthy of more than a sentence or two. I realize that I rarely go back and read my journals because they’re filled with "Oh God! Why? Why me's?" and the meatiest part of the tale isn’t always there. You know, the part about how I got “through” … how I got “over it.”

In “Eat, Pray, Love,” Elizabeth Gilbert told us “how” she nourished herself spiritually “through” the roughest period of her life. Luckily, her publisher recognized that other women teetering on the brink of spiritual starvation needed a way out, too!

So, one of my resolutions for the New Year has been to write both sides of the story in my journal. That way, when I veer too far away from my center, I won’t be afraid to revisit my thoughts and learn from the past. I’d be able to read a balanced account of the amazing woman I was in the process of becoming at a tenuous time in my history. And I’d be willing to recall not just the emotion of that painful unraveling, but the courageous steps I took to patch myself up.

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

Sample Size Skin Care Secrets

I always get nice compliments on my skin so I wanted to share a few of my most cherished, but inexpensive beauty secrets. Crème de la Mer is my favorite moisturizer for dry skin, but it’s not cheap! I use it all the time, but I never pay FULL price for the stuff. Why? Because the price of a 1 oz. jar is $125. I must admit, I do have a relationship with someone who reps for the company, but like the crème, it is to be used sparingly. So, how do I keep La Mer in my lair? It’s all about the .24 oz sample size jars of the cream. Those divas behind the counter don’t tell you about them because they like to save them for their best customers.

The last time I was in Vegas visiting my friend and fellow product queen, Gwen, I got three .24 oz jars of the original moisturizing cream. Now, you can’t dig it out of the little container like it’s Vaseline, but it’s enough to decide if you like it or tide you over until "God forbid" you decide to buy it yourself.

After you get your free jars of LaMer, slide on over to the ReVive counter and load up on all the freebies you can hold in your sly little fingers. When you get home, log onto ReVive and select the samples they claim to have run out of at the counter. I love the Moisturizing Renewal Cream. ReVive was developed by a plastic surgeon to help women who went under the knife have younger looking skin. Because we all know that you don’t look younger after plastic surgery, just refreshed… if you’re lucky! I know the day is coming when I will only agree to be seen by candlelight, but until that moment arrives I will do everything I can to stall for time in a non-surgical way.

The Moisturizing Renewal Cream exfoliates my skin and gives it a beautiful, luminous quality. I’m not saying it will absolutely do that for you, but it’s worth a try! Get at least five samples and they should last a month if you prick a tiny hole in the package with a safety pin. Of course, you can just break down and pay for it, but then you miss the “thrill” of getting a great product for nothing. At the end of the day, both of these crèmes cost way too much and beauty really does begin on the inside.

So, if you’d rather improve your skin from the inside out, I’ve got to take you back to the “old school.” Squeeze ½ of a lemon into an 8 oz. glass of water and sweeten it with a little bit of honey. I’ve been drinking this concoction at night about three times a week since I was a teenager. I’ve never had acne and believe me it’s not all genetics. So pucker up beauties! A glass of lemonade beats micro dermabrasion any day!

Ev

I Know It's Healthy, But How Does It Taste?

One of the best ways to save money is to know from the start, which products are worth the price. I find this to be especially true if I’m shopping in a store like Whole Foods… AKA “Whole Paycheck.”

My parents raised me as a vegetarian, but I was always curious about what other people were eating. So to their dismay, I ate whatever my little heart desired when I was out of their reach. Nevertheless, my early training in being a healthy eater stuck with me.

These days, the problem isn’t that I don’t want to eat an organic or vegetarian diet; it’s just not always affordable. I see so many great looking products in the store, but I’m not paying $6 for a box of crackers! But then again, if something is really amazing I want to be in the know. If you feel as frustrated about this issue as I do, you now have a secret weapon. Kim Mayhorn!

My friend Kim is a vegetarian and about 75% of her diet is raw. She has agreed to be our taste tester of sorts and let us know what product is a “winner” and what taste like tofu on cardboard. Did I also mention that she’s an award-winning editor, installation artist, one of Essence magazines’ 30 Women To Watch, a Whitney Museum Fellow and her website address is www.kimmayhorn.com?

Anyway, with such a specific diet, Kim can’t just eat anywhere, so she always has a bunch of next level snacks in her bag. If she’s not munching on Goji berries, she’s eating some kind of candy made out of seaweed. Kim has turned me on to a lot of good foods like Rice Cheese and raw pizza to name a few. To my credit, when she's in L.A., I take her to Café M de Chaya on Melrose. She loves their macrobiotic cuisine, especially the strawberry cupcakes.

So, look for Kim’s contributions to the blog. We can all live vicariously through her adventurous taste buds. But most importantly, we’ll know why that cool looking bag of sun dried, yucca potato chips tossed with pink crystal salt from the Himalayas in “Whole Paycheck” … needs to stay right there on the shelf.

Ev

30 Day Pass
By Derek

It’s Derek and I’d like to welcome you to my very first blog entry. Since we’re going to become really close friends, I’m going to let you in on my first big secret... Promise not to tell? Well, ever since Evolyn asked me to write for her blog, I’ve been having night sweats! Yes, night sweats! It’s all because the WHOLE WORLD is going to know just how CHEAP I am! I’m the type of guy that will ask the cashier at the 99 Cent Store if they take coupons (FYI: They don’t). Now, everybody and their stylist are going to know! I feel naked and exposed. But I have to realize that if I can help one person save at least a penny, then my ego is well worth the sacrifice.

Since I’ve suffered two sleepless nights over this whole drama, my eyes have been left with two MAJOR (As Posh would say!) bags beneath them. (Actually they’re more like LV trunks!) In the past, I’ve tried everything under the sun from cucumbers to Hylexin to fight my bags but so far I’ve had zero luck!

Well, the word on the streets here in West Hollywood is that the Vichy Oligo 25 Yeux Eye Cooling Stick is the real deal! Four days ago I decided to find out if this is true. I actually plunked down the somewhat reasonable $20 for the stick and I have been using it religiously twice a day. Although, all of the “Boys Who Sip Cosmos and Mojitos” swear by it, I have yet to see any results. Evolyn asked me to give it a full 30-day trial to find out if it really works. I’ll give you my report next month! Wish me luck!

XOXO Bargain Boy

New At In My Solitude: Sashay, Sachet!

There is nothing more beautiful than a whiff of lavender, especially when you pull out your lingerie drawer or open a closet. Last month I decided it was time for new sachets, but I was less than inspired by what I found in the store. So, I made some quilted sachets for my home and the boutique. Each set of two sachets is $20. They all have the same color palette, but the design and fabric pattern are one-of-a kind... just like you! Click here to purchase.

New You… New Year… New Yoga Mat
By Derek

It’s the start of 2008 and you know what that means, it’s time to get fit and fabulous through yoga. If you’re anything like me, there’s nothing worse than feeling and looking uncoordinated in yoga class. Well, I certainly can’t help you with your tree pose but I can save you money on colorful mats to match each of your yummy yoga outfits. For just $7.99, “Ross Dress for Less” offers an assortment of mats by “B Active” in fantastic colors like tangerine orange, avocado green and pocket rocket pink. The best feature of these mats is that they are a comfy ¼ inch thick! A comparable mat by Giam will set you back at least $22! With the money that you’re saving, you can get another mat for a friend, buy an extra yoga class, or put the change right back in your pocket.

XOXO Bargain Boy

Where's The Sweet Spot In Your City Or Online?

Nichole Shellman is one of my best friends and she lives in New Rochelle, New York. We definitely did our share of discount, power shopping when I lived on the east coast. These days, Nichole's sweet spot is this store called Fox’s. Now, the name alone would have stopped me in my tracks, but she ventured in and says the deals are “FAB-U-LOUS!” You’d love Nichole because she really talks that way and is sooo much fun to be around. So check out Foxs.com for a list of locations. Now, if you have a favorite spot to shop...throw us a bone! I’m not asking for all of your goodies… just a little something for the girls to nibble on.

Ev