In My Solitude Boutique Blog

Living & Loving In The Moment!

I know Valentine's day was like.... a month and a half ago, but for some reason I didn't feel like writing about love until now. I think it's because two of my closest friends have recently experienced a great loss in their lives.

An ending of any kind is always a wake up call, isn't it? And we all know that the hardest part of losing someone is letting go of "what was" because you know in your heart that it will never "be" again. Fortunately, it's also a moment to reflect on the love you have left in your life and hopefully make a greater commitment to the people around you!

For a couple of years now, I've been living with the possibility of losing my father-- so I always get a little shaken up when I hear that someone has died. But, I'm learning everyday to be more "present" with those I care about and never take for granted the richness we bring to each other's lives.

The most incredible thing about my newfound desire to be emotionally available is that it's affecting my life choices in ways I didn't expect. I no longer feel the need to escape uncomfortable situations because I spend less time creating them. I'm quicker to say no to anything that doesn't feel right for me and if someone gets upset... oh well! As a result, I'm spending more of my quality time doing things I love because I'm weeding out pretty much everything and anything that steals my joy.

My deepest choices now feel like acts of love instead of potential decisions that I might live to regret. I'm also discovering that the more present I am with my choice to love someone, the easier it is to let them go when the time arrives.

I think my friend Nichole, who just lost her amazing grandmother, definitely has the right idea about loving and letting go! She's planning a beautiful celebration of her Nana's life instead of a day of mourning. I think that's such a fabulous plan because life really isn't about how long you were in the room... it's how you worked the room while you were there... and a true diva knows that if you really want to be remembered... you must always take the time to plan the perfect exit!

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

Recipes Should Be Like Lovers....Cheap & Easy!
By Derek

In today’s urban society, it’s almost as expensive to prepare dinner at home as it is to nosh at your
favorite neighborhood bistro. So, what does a girl do when she’s blown her rent on a pair of Louboutin’s and it’s her turn to host her friends for dinner? Well if you’re in her shoes, you can impress them with an extremely affordable dinner of “Pasta Al Tonno” (Tuna Pasta) and your not so affordable sling backs! In fact, if you bargain hunt, you should be able to make this gourmet Italian dish for well under $5.

Pasta Al Tonno (Serves 4)

A 7 oz can of tuna fish drained
A 2 oz can of anchovies
1 cup of olive oil (Use Whole Foods 365 brand Spanish
Olive oil if you’re extremely tight on money)
2/3 cup of sour cream
1 pound of your favorite pasta prepared
Chopped Parsley (Optional)

In a blender or food processor, blend the tuna, anchovies and oil together. Then, add the sour cream
with the optional parsley and blend for an additional few seconds. Take the creamy fish mixture and toss it with your favorite pasta. It’s as easy as that! Some people, with really deep pockets, garnish this dish with pitted black olives! They probably buy their shoes at Payless, too.

So Fresh So Clean
By Evolyn

I love to use natural products to make beauty treatments and my favorite is a honey and clay mask. I mix a tablespoon of each together and smooth it on my face for 1/2 an hour. My skin is really soft when I rinse off the mask because the clay has a nice exfoliating quality.

There's only one product that I haven't attempted to make at home and that's soap. Luckily, there's no reason for me to play chemist when I can just hop in the car and drive to Soaptopia.

The homemade soap at this amazing little store on Venice Blvd. in Mar Vista, Ca., has been one of my best kept secrets. Now, they're products are all the rage and if you try their soap you'll see why. They're made with an olive oil base, Shea butter from Senegal, organic Hemp Seed oil, Coconut Oil, Palm Oil, Avocado Oil and Essential Oils. They have 39 different soaps and lots of other great body products. I love the 50/50 body balm.

It's so fluffy and decadent that I feel all "bad girl" when I'm putting it on my body. I think it's the Madagascar Vanilla that has me imagining that I'm getting ready for a hot and sexy night out, even if I never leave my home.

Cooking Italian? Try Shopping At An Asian Market!
By Derek

Tip #1

One of my favorite Italian dishes is pesto but I always found the cost of basil to be a bit too high
for my taste. Well, the trick to getting basil for less is to go to a Thai Market. Since basil is a staple in the Thai diet, most markets sell sweet fresh basil in bulk for just a little over 2 dollars a bag! Now you can have basil whenever you want!

Tip#2

When making homemade ravioli, use wonton skins! All you have to do is take two wonton skins, fill them with your favorite ingredients and paint them shut with egg yolk. Then just boil for a few minutes and you’ll have ravioli to die for! (I love to make ravioli with fresh ricotta cheese and mint leaves and then serve them in a butter and lemon sauce. It’s perfect for the summer!)

More Energy In Less Time
By Kimberly

For those of you who are dashing out the door without a second to spare, I recommend Sambazon Acai energy drinks. Acai is this fantastic little berry that is one of the most nutritious and powerful foods in the world! It's a remarkable concentration of antioxidants that help combat premature aging, with 10 times more antioxidants than red grapes and 10 to 30 times the anthocyanins of red wine.

Sambazon carries three flavors and my favorite is the Acai Rio Energy. Other Sambazon products include sorbets, supplements and great frozen packs for those who want to make their own smoothie. They also offer some great recipes on their website such as the Acai Margarita for those who want a little more than a natural high!

The In My Solitude Boutique Blog is updated on the 1st and 15th of every month... well most of the time :-) Sometimes work kicks my butt! I'd love to read your thoughts so feel free to share them below in the comment section.

The Power of Perseverance
March 6, 2008

My life has been a whirlwind over the past few weeks. I'm working on a TV project that I love, but as always, when I start something new it brings up an old issue. For me, a new job brings up my "stuff" about competition. How much is too much? Will people hate me if I act too driven? Am I better or smarter than the people around me? Are they better, or smarter than me? Am I trying too hard to win? How can I perform well without others seeing me as a threat?

Sometimes, when I feel like it's all too much, I look at a quote above my desk at home that says, "Persevere Without Attachment Until You Reach Your Goal." It's based on the Buddhist philosophy of non-attachment to the machinations of the outside world. This idea was working for me until I watched the results of my favorite reality show called, "The Democratic Primary" on Tuesday, March 5th.

Something clicked for me as I watched Hillary and Obama speak throughout the night. They are great competitors and through them I am learning how to become a great competitor, too!

Their pursuit of the nomination is truly the most exciting battle of will, wit and perseverance I have ever seen outside of a TV production studio. Each of them is willing to put their heart and soul in the game to win. Obama cooly stays the course while Hillary struggles to bounce back and overcome her rival.

By watching them compete, I see how important it is to have a strong strategy and a team that supports your efforts. When you stray off course, it's critical to listen to your advisors and make changes immediately based on their feedback. If your popularity is falling or your plan isn't working, don't blame or attack the other person because it makes you look mean spirited. And God help you if you don't know what everyday people are thinking about you because it can make or break you. Oh and if you take a hit in the solar plexus, shake it off and keep it movin'. Everybody gets knocked down, but a winner gets right back in the game with their sense of humor in tact. Finally, be thankful for a worthy opponent that forces you to step up your game because in the end you're that much closer to reaching your goal.

No matter how this race turns out, I think it's been good for our country and it's taught me at least to appreciate the intense level of struggle sometimes required to realize a dream. We all get tired of fighting, but challenges are truly necessary to grow. When we don't have a goal or a strategy, it seems like it's all for nothing and we lose hope.

Since the March 5th primaries, my quote is still over my desk, but it's been tweaked a little bit. Now it says, "Persevere with attachment until you reach your goal... or your opponent gives up!"

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

It's Time For A Love Revolution

I was watching Mary J. Blige perform on MTV's Storyteller's last week and I was moved by how powerfully she performed the song, No More Drama. I mean, I really believed that she's finally had enough and is experiencing joy in her life at last.

I met Mary J. Blige for the first time about eight years ago when I produced a full hour with her at The Queen Latifah Show. At that time, she was still the "Old Mary" and as I briefed her in the green room, she was looking at me like she wanted to throw down after school in the playground. Clearly, I'm no "Jenny From The Block" so I told her what was happening in the show and got the hell out of there.

I've always loved Mary's music, but now she's become a friend in my head. I respect her for having the courage to change her life and also share the journey. Her latest song, Just Fine is the most fun, upbeat song Mary J. Blige has ever recorded. I love the lyrics, "No time for moping around, are you kidding? And no time for negative vibes, cause I'm winning." They lift me up and remind me to never take my life for granted.

Lenny Kravitz's new CD, It's Time For A Love Revolution, is encouraging us to believe in lasting love! Working in television has afforded me so many opportunities, and meeting Lenny Kravitz was one of them. The look on my face in this picture is just peace and purple haze, isn't it? I still can't get over the fact that we were kinda dressed alike that day.... Anyway, I'm so glad he's back and I love his new song,I'll Be Waiting. Really Lenny? Really?

Crack In A Bottle
By Ev

I've been "crackish" about a lot of things in my life, but a bottle of liquid vitamins has never been one of them. But here I am, "feening" for Nature's Plus liquid vitamins on a daily basis. While there's nothing on the label that would lead me to suspect that I'm ingesting a new form of crystal meth or an unwitting participant in a government sanctioned pharmaceutical experiment, I'm just not sure.

I feel too good to have not taken something that's illegal. I know there's some Ephedrine in there somewhere! I got turned on to this so-called liquid vitamin by my friend, Nichole. I blame her for bringing the stuff into my house. "Trust me. You have to try it," she said. "It's incredible. You can take it on an empty stomach and it doesn't even taste that bad."

Uh Huh! I should have snatched it out of her hand and poured it right down the drain like a bottle of cheap vodka, but nooooo! I swallow a capful and in an hour I'm feeling all Neo from the Matrix. My mind feels a little sharper and all that B12 has me bouncing off the walls... not bad for roughly $30 for a 30oz. bottle, right? Still, when the stuff is banned from the market and you've got six crates of it stashed in your basement ... don't blame me when the cops are knocking at your door... I told you it was "crack" from the get go!

The In My Solitude Boutique Blog is updated on the 1st and 15th of every month. We love to read your thoughts so feel free to share them below in the comment section.