In My Solitude Boutique Blog

Getting Your Act Off The Ground!

May 28, 2008

I love the circus and my secret fantasy is to be a performer in Cirque du Soleil. The desire to be an acrobat isn't new, it's more like a dream deferred. I took gymnastic classes as a kid, but a four inch growth spurt and a scary slip off the balance beam put a serious halt to my tumbling.

I developed a mini fear of falling after gymnastics. Recently, I decided to get to the bottom of this so called phobia by rekindling my old passion. How? I enrolled in a Tissu class at Circus School!
Yes, you read it right. Circus School! While it may be too late for my big top debut, I'll never be too old to learn something new and put the past in perspective.

It all began when I saw a picture of my co-worker in Tissu class at Hollywood Aerial Arts. Tissu is an incredible circus art where the acrobat climbs silk fabric suspended usually 20-35 feet in the air and performs without safety lines. The photo struck a chord so deep that I had to dig out my tights for old times sake. During the days before the class, I imagined myself at the top of the Tissu in a beautiful, gravity defying pose. I also saw myself in elementary school, struggling to lift my body weight during rope climbing. I was surprised by the win or lose scenarios in my visualizations. Where was the balance in my view of what I could accomplish at Circus school?

I showed up for my first two hour class with a willing spirit and a beginner's mind. The true gymnasts showed up in cute little outfits with flesh toned leggings. I knew I was in big trouble when EVERYONE could do a real split during the warm up. And not the kind where you put your bent leg off to the side and then touch your toes, I'm talking about split, splits!

After the warm up and signing a waiver that basically said if I died trying Tissu it wasn't the facility's fault; we were split up in groups based on ability. Learning how to climb the Tissu was not easy, most of the time my butt was either sticking up in the air or sprawled on the ground.
As I watched my advanced classmates scurry up the Tissu, I finally understood why I quit gymnastics. It wasn't just because I was too tall or afraid of falling. I was afraid of failing. As a teen, I didn't allow myself to enjoy the sport because I felt too much pressure to be the best in the room.

While waiting for my turn on the Tissu, I thought about how hard it is, even as an adult, to watch others succeed at something that doesn't come easy to you. But, the truth is that's life! So, to truly enjoy circus school, I had to start at a place that was right for me and not compare myself to anyone else. My goal in Tissu class was not to fly through the air with the greatest of ease, but to simply get my entire body off the ground. I slipped off the silk rope over and over for two hours, until I was finally airborne.

I re-learned an important lesson at Circus school. Failing is a necessary part of growth and to reach the top, you're going to fall a lot. But, you have to get right back up and try again... until you literally get the hang of it.

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn

Advice To My Younger Self!
April 20, 2008

I celebrated Christmas in April with my friend Essie this weekend. We've been trying to exchange stockings since the new year. Finally, we got together and after gazing at the ocean from her beautiful apartment, talking, and sipping a little wine, we opened our gifts.

Essie gave me the most thought provoking book called, What I Know Now: Letters To My Younger Self. Each essay is filled with amazing advice written by famous, accomplished women from all walks of life. I loved the book so much that I read it the same night (it's only 183 pages). The letters are to every woman's younger self at a pivotal moment in her journey. They really reveal how we all struggle with the same issues regardless of our social or economic status.

After finishing the book, I was inspired to write a letter to my younger self. The hardest part of the process was deciding at what point I wanted to drop a little knowledge on mini-me. I decided that I could have really used some solid advice at 17. I was on my own, working and putting myself through college. After writing the letter, I realized that what I needed to hear then, I still need to hear now. Some lessons we just keep learning! You should write a letter to your younger self, it's such a great exercise! I'll go first... here's my letter inspired by Christmas in April with Essie!

Dear Ev-E!

When you get your first "real job" as a bank teller, please don't wear your favorite purple, floppy, fedora or anything else from your hat collection to work. Neither you or your boss will understand yet that your artistic spirit is trying to emerge. Instead of fighting the corporate machine, spend your time trying to find work that is more creative and better suits your personality. And darling, when you're feeling like Diana Ross in Mahogany being booed off the runway for wearing her own designs, try not to take life too seriously! Instead, make time to laugh really, really hard at least twice a day. Let at least one of the things you laugh at be the vision of you working at the teller window in a floppy, purple hat!

Also, it seems you are attracted to guys who are what you call "smart bohemians." That's just fine, but I need to make sure you understand the difference between bohemian and broke down. Remember the cute, intellectual guy who's car was so rusted on the passenger side that you could see the street through a hole in the floor? Baby, that's broke down! If you ever have a moment of weakness, listen to the timeless wisdom found in No Scrubs the girl power anthem of the legendary R&B group, TLC. And by the way, the thing you kinda didn't like about him when you first met.... only gets worse over time!

Yes, your 17 and I know you think you already know this, but never pick a partner based on his potential... make sure he has everything that is important to you in the present moment. And you're right, money isn't everything, but you better make sure you always have some of your own.

This is really important! Trust your intuition and opinion before anyone else's... but don't be afraid to ask for help or advice because one day your mom won't be around. For a while, it's going to be hard to accept that your mother left the planet way too soon, but know that she gave you the greatest gift a mother can give her daughter... self esteem. All the Gucci in the world will never be more valuable than having a good opinion of your self.

Finally, sometimes you will have to tell people you like and dislike to kiss your ass! Not everyone is going to approve of you and how you live your life. A thick skin and a strong, but forgiving spirit will allow you to transcend any circumstance. Sometimes, it may seem hard to see the big picture, but trust me when I say, you are going to become the woman of your dreams and you will be wearing many, many, many hats!

Abundantly yours,

Evolyn
(Your Older, Wiser Self)