Is Your Life A Circus?
Getting Your Act Off The Ground!
May 28, 2008
I love the circus and my secret fantasy is to be a performer in Cirque du Soleil. The desire to be an acrobat isn't new, it's more like a dream deferred. I took gymnastic classes as a kid, but a four inch growth spurt and a scary slip off the balance beam put a serious halt to my tumbling.
I developed a mini fear of falling after gymnastics. Recently, I decided to get to the bottom of this so called phobia by rekindling my old passion. How? I enrolled in a Tissu class at Circus School! 
Yes, you read it right. Circus School! While it may be too late for my big top debut, I'll never be too old to learn something new and put the past in perspective.
It all began when I saw a picture of my co-worker in Tissu class at Hollywood Aerial Arts. Tissu is an incredible circus art where the acrobat climbs silk fabric suspended usually 20-35 feet in the air and performs without safety lines. 
The photo struck a chord so deep that I had to dig out my tights for old times sake. During the days before the class, I imagined myself at the top of the Tissu in a beautiful, gravity defying pose. I also saw myself in elementary school, struggling to lift my body weight during rope climbing. I was surprised by the win or lose scenarios in my visualizations. Where was the balance in my view of what I could accomplish at Circus school?
I showed up for my first two hour class with a willing spirit and a beginner's mind. The true gymnasts showed up in cute little outfits with flesh toned leggings. I knew I was in big trouble when EVERYONE could do a real split during the warm up. And not the kind where you put your bent leg off to the side and then touch your toes, I'm talking about split, splits!
After the warm up and signing a waiver that basically said if I died trying Tissu it wasn't the facility's fault; we were split up in groups based on ability. Learning how to climb the Tissu was not easy, most of the time my butt was either sticking up in the air or sprawled on the ground.
As I watched my advanced classmates scurry up the Tissu, I finally understood why I quit gymnastics. It wasn't just because I was too tall or afraid of falling. I was afraid of failing. As a teen, I didn't allow myself to enjoy the sport because I felt too much pressure to be the best in the room.
While waiting for my turn on the Tissu, I thought about how hard it is, even as an adult, to watch others succeed at something that doesn't come easy to you. But, the truth is that's life! So, to truly enjoy circus school, I had to start at a place that was right for me and not compare myself to anyone else. My goal in Tissu class was not to fly through the air with the greatest of ease, but to simply get my entire body off the ground. I slipped off the silk rope over and over for two hours, until I was finally airborne.
I re-learned an important lesson at Circus school. Failing is a necessary part of growth and to reach the top, you're going to fall a lot. But, you have to get right back up and try again... until you literally get the hang of it.
Abundantly yours,
Evolyn
In My Solitude
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Reader Comments (2)
That's great, Ev. Keep flying, girl. Soar!
How fabulous that you joined a Tissu class. I was a gymnast all through elementary and middle school and had forgotten about it until I read your blog. It reminded me that all too often we get caught up in the same boring routines in our lives and the years are passing us by! You've inspired me to take an art class this summer, something I've dreamed of doing for the past thirteen years. Many thanks.
May 28, 2008 | Karen Solomon