Are You The Woman Of Your Dreams?
Advice To My Younger Self!
April 20, 2008
I celebrated Christmas in April with my friend Essie this weekend. We've been trying to exchange stockings since the new year. Finally, we got together and after gazing at the ocean from her beautiful apartment, talking, and sipping a little wine, we opened our gifts.
Essie gave me the most thought provoking book called, What I Know Now: Letters To My Younger Self. Each essay is filled with amazing advice written by famous, accomplished women from all walks of life. I loved the book so much that I read it the same night (it's only 183 pages). The letters are to every woman's younger self at a pivotal moment in her journey. They really reveal how we all struggle with the same issues regardless of our social or economic status.
After finishing the book, I was inspired to write a letter to my younger self. The hardest part of the process was deciding at what point I wanted to drop a little knowledge on mini-me. I decided that I could have really used some solid advice at 17. I was on my own, working and putting myself through college. After writing the letter, I realized that what I needed to hear then, I still need to hear now. Some lessons we just keep learning! You should write a letter to your younger self, it's such a great exercise! I'll go first... here's my letter inspired by Christmas in April with Essie!
Dear Ev-E!
Also, it seems you are attracted to guys who are what you call "smart bohemians." That's just fine, but I need to make sure you understand the difference between bohemian and broke down. Remember the cute, intellectual guy who's car was so rusted on the passenger side that you could see the street through a hole in the floor? Baby, that's broke down! If you ever have a moment of weakness, listen to the timeless wisdom found in No Scrubs the girl power anthem of the legendary R&B group, TLC. And by the way, the thing you kinda didn't like about him when you first met.... only gets worse over time!
Yes, your 17 and I know you think you already know this, but never pick a partner based on his potential... make sure he has everything that is important to you in the present moment. And you're right, money isn't everything, but you better make sure you always have some of your own.
This is really important! Trust your intuition and opinion before anyone else's... but don't be afraid to ask for help or advice because one day your mom won't be around. For a while, it's going to be hard to accept that your mother left the planet way too soon, but know that she gave you the greatest gift a mother can give her daughter... self esteem. All the Gucci in the world will never be more valuable than having a good opinion of your self.
Finally, sometimes you will have to tell people you like and dislike to kiss your ass! Not everyone is going to approve of you and how you live your life. A thick skin and a strong, but forgiving spirit will allow you to transcend any circumstance. Sometimes, it may seem hard to see the big picture, but trust me when I say, you are going to become the woman of your dreams and you will be wearing many, many, many hats!
Abundantly yours,
Evolyn
(Your Older, Wiser Self)
In My Solitude
6 Comments
Reader Comments (6)
I love that part about writing to your earlier self. Sometimes in my meditation i imagine my adult self comforting the frightened parts of who i have been before, and who i am now. I am going to do the writing thing in my journal,Thanks for the tip. Peace And blessings.N.W.
Mr. Nicholas Whitehead
This topic really grabbed me as I am spending quite a bit of alone time these days (my choice) really working on me. I think I will do that letter writing thing to myself. I am sure its probably very healing. Thank you for opening up and sharing.
Peace & Blessings! KP
WHEW!!! You just made me laugh hard girl!!! I had a visual of you at the teller counter in your floppy hat! LOL LOL LOL!!! That was great! When I finally get a breather, I’m going to write my 17 year old, thinking she was grown, didn’t know nothing self a letter too :-)
Danni
well...what can I say...this is fabulous. I esp love this:
This is really important! Trust your intuition and opinion before anyone else's... but don't be afraid to ask for help or advice because one day your mom won't be around. For a while, it's going to be hard to accept that your mother left the planet way too soon, but know that she gave you the greatest gift a mother can give her daughter... self esteem. All the Gucci in the world will never be more valuable than having a good opinion of your self.
this is quite universal even if she has not physically 'left the building' - the truth of it is that we are daughters who become mothers and I'm hoping that if I write a letter like this to my younger self, one day (should I have a child) he or she will at least reflect upon the relativity that peppers my life...all of the crazy colors and the pretty ones too - they all mean something to someone - this whole thing is mysteriously, yet magically connected in a magnificent way that we'll never understand while we're here, so yeah, I suppose we should try to enjoy the ride so long as we're here.
Thanks for the laugh tempered with wisdom- i think i may have been your best friend at the bank - thinking we were there to liberate that stodgy corporate dress code! Such a hysterical visual but one every too grown for the world girl can relate to. And alright for calling that broke down brother by a name! I learned the hard way that creative and whimsical equal unreliable and liar - but, er um..I am not bitter!
How fabulous that you joined a Tissu class. I was a gymnast all through elementary and middle school and had forgotten about it until I read your blog. It reminded me that all too often we get caught up in the same boring routines in our lives and the years are passing us by! You've inspired me to take an art class this summer, something I've dreamed of doing for the past thirteen years. Many thanks.